For Part II of this series on Tznius click here.
This is the third in a series of articles and essays about tznius was first published in print in 1995, 29 years ago.
29 years ago there was a rally about tsnius in the Jewish home in Bnei Brak that was attended by more than 10,000 women. Unlike a political rally that is short on content, the remarks of the great rabbonim at that gathering are definitely worthy of preservation and study.
The words of HaRav Zilberstein deserve careful study, and should probably be read several times. Rav Zilberstein develops a concept that is a little different from what we are used to hearing in discussions about tsnius. He shows that slavish imitation of fashions is a result of a lack of content and insufficient Jewish pride. One who truly understands what life is all about will not be concerned with external glitter.
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The Gaon, R' Leib Chasman, the mashgiach of Yeshivas Chevron, sat in his room in the yeshiva and was very downcast. A student entered and asked: "Rabbenu, why are you so sad? "
R' Leib pointed to the bed in which his wife, the rebbetzin lay, and said: "Where will she go? Why shouldn't I be sad?"
The student did not understand his mashgiach. R' Leib explained: "It is written: `And the Land shall vomited its inhabitants' (Vayikra 18:25). I heard that one of the kibbutzim is raising rabbits for human consumption. The Torah says that the Land will vomit us out. I'll go wherever my feet take me. But the rebbetzin is ill. Where will she go?"
These words were said before the Chevron massacre, and to our sorrow, they were fulfilled. Chevron expelled the finest and the most saintly members of the Jewish Nation. Because we are all responsible for one another, he had to leave Chevron, and the words that he said came to pass.
In times of crises, the head of the household assembles the members of his family — the children, the grandchildren — and devises a plan of rescue. "Let us flee," he says.
The Stick and the Carrot in Eretz Yisroel
Jewish daughters who try to live with tsnius are doing a kindness with all of us, because the very essence of this desire is a kiddush sheim Shomayim. Young women believe in Hashem, and come to such a rally!
In parshas Kedoshim, in connection with arayos, it says: "And the land will vomit you out." Everyone who is careful about tsnius is capable of preventing bloodshed. She can make sure that the Land will not eject us.
I went to comfort a bereaved family, and my heart melted from what I heard. The mother related that in the middle of the night, the children wake up, and run to their father's bed. "They look for him, and ask, `Where is Abba?'" said the mother. "It is difficult for me to bear this. They cry out in the middle of the night. The nights for me are unbearable."
This is the bloodshed that we can prevent with our behavior. If we strengthen ourselves in our observance of these crucial mitzvos, Hashem won't turn back from us — instead, he will return to us.
But Eretz Yisroel does not only evict. It also knows how to deal kindly with its inhabitants, when they are deserving. In the year 5719 (1959), a ship approached the shores of Eretz Yisroel. It was an Egyptian ship. The captain had erred, and instead of reaching Egypt, he landed in Eretz Yisroel. He realized that he was trapped. He lowered some lifeboats from his ship, and fled in the middle of the night.
The ship was seized. What had happened? Why had he erred? The ship was laden with onions. 5719 was a shmittah year. The shmittah committee had secured all of the necessary vegetables and fruits from chutz la'aretz — except for onions. And so, Eretz Yisroel came to the rescue of her residents, and brought them the onions they required.
From a secular perspective, "the captain erred." But such was not the case. The Torah says: "You shall eat the booty of your enemies." The shmittah committee received the entire contents of the ship, and distributed onions to all the shmittah observers in the Land. Eretz Yisroel can give us all the good of the world, if we behave as Hashem sees fit on His sacred soil.
The Content of Jewish Life
Certain religious Jews are really frauds. The husband wears something on his head, and promenades around town with his wife, brazenly. Neither of them keep within the limits of tsnius or of kedusha. And this indicates that the husband's covering is not genuine and has no backing. He displays an outward veneer that has absolutely no inner content.
What makes a Jewish woman praiseworthy? The fact that she fills her home with content. Indecency cannot be evicted with sticks or with talk. Indecency, or an empty lifestyle which is devoid of content, can only be removed from the home with practical and real content.
I know a ger tzedek, who is today a very important talmid chochom. How did he achieve this level?
He originally came to Eretz Yisroel for a year of volunteer public service to help atone for the sins which his country had committed against the Jewish People. He had studied special education, and was working in an institution called Or Li near Yerushalayim. This is an institution for retarded children, as well as for blind and deaf ones.
The ger tzedek told me: "Every day I would see a certain mother putting a tallis koton on her child, who was blind, deaf and dumb. She would place a yarmulke on his head, and recite `Shema Yisroel Hashem Elokeinu Hashem echod. Torah tziva lanu Moshe,' with him.
"I asked her: `Jewish mother, what are you doing? He doesn't hear. He doesn't see. He doesn't understand. He is like a vegetable.'
"She replied: `You are wrong. His body is ill. But his soul is not. I am placing tzitzis on him, because his neshomoh is healthy. It understands what I am doing. I am saying Shema Yisroel with him, and he grasps its meaning.'"
That gentile heard her words — and converted!
I had the privilege of eventually granting him smicha as a rav. When he passed his smicha examinations, it was a festive day for us. We held a celebration in our house.
Later on, this talmid chochom told me: "I saw that the Torah is replete with content."
That mother had explained to him that the body is ill, but the soul healthy. She had no problems with tsnius, not because she had studied books on the subject, but because she was filled with content. She knew what it means to be a Jew. She was proud of her Jewishness. There is certainly no need to stress to her the importance of modest dress. I am sure that she has no such problems.
I do not know how that mother appeared, but one thing is certain, she had no problems of tsnius. She was not allured by outer glitter, or by counterfeit aims. Her household was not an empty one. She was replete with content. She knew that she was a mother, and that she had to instill Torah in her children.
I want to tell Jewish mothers about a certain tana, one of the great sages of Israel: R' Yochonon ben Gudgoda. The Rambam calls him a chassid, porush — a very pious and ascetic individual. All his children were deaf and dumb. His daughter gave birth to two dumb children, too. A regular person in such a situation would despair.
R' Yochonon ben Gudgoda did not despair. What did he do? I don't know. What did his wife do? I also don't know. But I will tell you about the results of their efforts.
Those deaf children, says the Talmud Yerushalmi, became Yerushalayim's foremost halachic authorities on matters of Taharos. Taharos is the most difficult seder in the Shas. Those children were so proficient in it that they became halachic authorities on all that pertained to tumah and tahara.
How did this happen?
Nothing is said about the mother. But I can say for certain, that she was full of content. She knew why she had been sent into the world. A genuine Jewish mother raises children who do not have emotional problems, because she accords top priority to spiritual endeavors.
When R' Yochonon ben Gudgoda's wife gave birth to deaf children, she said: "I accept them."
It was as simple — and as profound — as that.
Someone once wanted to bring the Steipler Rav a hearing aid, so that it would be easier for him to hear, but he refused to accept it. He said: "We were raised to lovingly accept everything that Hashem gives us. We do not search for anything else. Whatever the Creator of the Universe gives us, we accept."
I don't understand how those children were taught the entire Shas. In Chagigah, the gemora relates: `R' Yochonon ben Gudgoda...had dumb children. Every day, they sat before Rabbenu HaKodosh and nodded their heads. After a number of years, Rabbenu HaKodosh decided to pray that they should learn how to speak. They began to speak and [it became evident that] they knew the entire Torah."
The Ben Ish Chai wanted to know who these dumb children were. He probed the matter, and, citing Sefer Hagilgulim, found that they were Eldad and Meidad. The first two letters of each of their names form the word ileim, which means "dumb." According to Sefer Hagilgulim, Rabbenu HaKodosh (the teacher of these children) contained sparks from the soul of Moshe Rabbenu. Eldad and Meidad had spoken against Moshe Rabbenu. They were reincarnated as the children of R' Yochonon ben Gudgoda. Their mother transformed them into talmidei chachomim.
The concept, "a Jewish mother" bespeaks pride in Hashem. Great are the levels, the glory and the grandeur which she attains.
Inspiration to Last a Lifetime
The great gaon, R' Yitzchok Hutner, tells about his mother. "When I was ten years old, I completed Bava Kamma in the cheder. I came home and said, `Mamma, I have finished.'
"She replied. `Ah, you have finished?'
"Then she placed a white tablecloth on the table, prepared candles, went to the closet and put on the dress which my father had bought her for Yom Tov. She said: `I won't wear it first on Yom Tov, but will wear it now, because today is my Yom Tov.'
"She put on the dress, recited Shehechiyanu, and lit candles. I saw the dress which my father had bought for my mother being worn for the first time not on Yom Tov, but within the house, on an occasion which was for her, a Yom Tov — the day on which I completed Bava Kamma. The love of Torah which I imbibed from my mother's dress is indescribable."
A child senses what is false and counterfeit, and what is genuine. When a mother's aspirations center around the spiritual attainments of her child, her feelings penetrate his soul forever.
The gaon, R' Elchonon Wassermann, went to America. At that time, Shabbos desecration was rampant in the United States. He approached a store which was closed, bent down and kissed its lock. Why? He said: "It is an amulet. It is a sacred object, which preserves the Shabbos."
The dress of the mother of R' Yitzchok Hutner was also a hallowed object, a parochess, a dress that was totally sacred, a dress which had come to honor the Torah study of her son. It was kodesh kodoshim.
I once heard that a young man told the gaon, R' Eliyahu Lopian that his daughter was straying. "I learn in a kollel," he said, "and don't know how it happened."
R' Eliyahu Lopian asked him: "Do you rebuke your children?"
"Of course," the young man replied.
R' Lopian continued: "Did you ever faint? Did you faint when you saw that your daughter was degenerating?"
"No," replied the young man.
"Then you haven't rebuked. Only fainting when a child strays, can be defined as the rebuke of a father to his child."
The Chazon Ish told a story about a gaon who lived one generation before him, named R' Eliezer Moshe Horowitz (whose comments on the entire Shas were published). When umbrellas first appeared on the scene, Israel's sages forbade using them on Shabbos, even if they were opened prior to Shabbos.
R' Horowitz's daughter was a genius — a "talmida chachama" — and she felt that it was permitted to use an umbrella which had been opened prior to Shabbos, and did so! R' Eliezer Moshe — the father — chastised her, but to no avail. One Shabbos, he rose to the platform in the great synagogue and banged on the table, saying: "My daughter has lost her mind! May no one learn from her."
The Chazon ish was amazed by this story. A father announces in the largest synagogue of the city that his daughter has gone mad! This is manslaughter. The daughter is of marriageable age. She needs a shidduch. But if the Torah fills the entire life of the Jew, nothing can stand up against it. No one can stand up against the pride a Jew feels in his Yiddishkeit.
Chazal say in Sanhedrin: "A debate was conducted in the presence of Alexander of Macedonia. It involved certain Egyptians who demanded that the Jewish Nation reimburse Egypt for all of the booty they had taken with them at the Exodus. The Jews did not know what to do.
"There was a person there who had two hunchbacks, one atop the other, and they called him Geviha ben Pesissa. He said: `I will go and argue with them.' He went, and won the debate. That day, the Jews made a celebration. Geviha ben Pesissa had shown contempt for the nations of the world!
"An Egyptian approached Geviha and said: `If you show contempt for us, I will kick your in your hunched back.'
"He replied: `If you kick my back, do you know what I will do? I will give you a lot of money, and tell everyone that you are an expert doctor."
Such a reply, could only have been given by a child whose mother did not have an inferiority complex. She must have felt fine about her son, and not minded appearing with him in public. Had she felt inferior, he would not have come forward to speak for the Jewish nation, and could not have responded that way to what was intended as an insult. He merited to be the advocate of the Jewish Nation because of the mother's Jewish pride.
How do Chazal know this? What in the story alludes to the mother's Jewish pride? A child with hunchback is born to a woman. But she is not dismayed. "If Hashem gave me a child with a double hunchback, it is fine. That is the way it is supposed to be. I will make him a chochom," she said.
And so she did. She made him the smartest man in Am Yisroel. No one else was willing to debate before Alexander. Why didn't his mother suffer from an inferiority complex?
Because she had Jewish pride, and did not nullify herself before empty values, or think that she was only worth something with beautiful clothing, brazen styles or golden jewelry.
Rochel Imeinu took the idols of her father, and placed them on the back of a camel. When Lavan met her, she said: "I have nothing. I cannot get up now. Derech hanoshim li."
The Zohar asks: "Why did she take the idols and sit on them? Why didn't she bury them. Idols are generally buried."
The holy Zohar replies: "The forces of impurity are very powerful and can only be nullified by disgracing them. When one sits on the idols, their power is cancelled. Rochel Imeinu wanted to teach her family a lesson. Therefore, she took the idols, which were very costly, and sat on them in order to disgrace them."
If we knew how to inculcate our children with feelings of disdain for those who imitate the street, for those who imitate worthless, external glitter — we would succeed in nullifying these phenomenon. If a woman who dresses improperly were to know that the entire street opposes her, and looks down at her, as if she were wearing an Indian headdress — all this avoda zorah would be cancelled.
We must demonstrate that our camp respects only yiras Shomayim and belief in Hashem, and that we disdain empty values. In that way we will cancel the avoda zorah, and from then on in the merit of righteous women, and in the merit of those who have organized this gathering, Hashem will help us.
As I am speaking, I cannot help thinking about the recent tragedy which occurred to our Nation, which has lost of one of its finest — R' Aharon Pfeuffer (a rav from South Africa), who was killed in a tragic automobile accident. On the merit of those who have gathered here tonight, in order to sanctify Hashem's name, may there be no more bloodshed in our Land.
When the Baal Shem Tov was in Istanbul, he pointed to certain young men and scholars and said: "This one is the soul of R' Yossi; this one is the soul of R' Yochonon ben Gudgoda. All of the people here are holy."
People told this to the elderly R' Alfanderi. He said: "It is no wonder. The mothers in Turkey were on such a high level of sanctity and purity, and had so total a belief in Hashem, that it is no wonder that they bore such generations.
May Hashem grant our Jewish mothers nachas and happiness, and a good life in Eretz Yisroel.
HaRav Yitzchok Zilberstein is rav of Ramat Elchonon in Bnei Brak
